The DSi online store is a complete joke.

well-poop

Actually it’s not a joke…it’s more of a terrible story told by a drunken hobo, all while he’s bleeding to death on the side of a railroad track. (I think I dreamt that once.)

Seriously though…what the crap, Nintendo? This DSiWare initiative was a GOOD one on a very basic level: Provide portable gamers inexpensive games on the go, and get some of this downloadable content mojo going before the phone market eats your lunch. Not to mention to what Sony could do with the PSP in that arena.

So they put everything into place: A new DS, the store is up, the games are ready, the download setup is cake. Seems like a win, right? WRONG!

Every week, they offload 1, maybe 2 titles, that are COMPLETE crap! Games they want 8 bucks for that represent 20 minutes of gameplay, or that are so terrible, that you will never want to pay money for anything ever again.

The best stuff on that store are mini-games ripped out of other cartridge titles from the past. WarioWare and others. So they want 2 to 8 bucks for stuff that is being recycled from other games! Even then, that store is like a walmart during the zombie uprising: Empty.

I have been a LIFELONG Nintendo fan, and I have owned every iteration of GameBoy there ever was. And I think the DS has done amazing things to push gaming forward, and invent really interesting ways of playing.

Nintendo has shown with the Wii that they really don’t understand what a good online strategy is, so I should not be all that surprised by what they are doing with the DSi. But I am just so sad about it! My DSi is sitting in a drawer! Collecting dust! And probably air-borne fecal matter and dog hair for all I know!

I download GREAT content to my 360, my PS3, my iPhone, and my PC and Mac…there is NO reason, with this much time under its belt, that the DSi is not getting more of my love. I am here, arms open wide, ready to bring it back into my life!

It just needs to get its life together and get some professional help.