A few episodes back on ELR, I mentioned a few prominent actors that I’m pretty sure have really bad breath. I know this is just an assumption I’m making and I could be dead wrong, but I’m gonna have some fun with this anyway.
So who’s up first? Jennifer Aniston. I just can’t watch her without feeling for certain she’s got the worst sour milk breath of all time. Picture any number of her run of the mill romantic comedies, during some lame kissing scene, and you’ll find me squirming on the couch wondering how it is that Vince Vaugn can force himself to make out in the face of that vile stink.
Anyway, I’ll do a series of these. I just have to think the world has is on pins and needles waiting for information like this.
EDIT: Meh…nevermind. People are getting super uptight about it. Part one is it.
Johnny Depp – Has to have bad breath
Hahaha nice, would be way awesome if it turned out you were right and had this sixth sense about people’s breath.
Kate Hudson…she is nasty…
You know that Patricia Heaton (Ray’s wife on “Everybody Loves Raymond”) has the nastiest breath on the planet!
Someone needs to create an app that when you point it to the TV with the actor it has a bad breath meter on it
Don’t get me wrong Scott, I did find the comment funny in the context of the podcast when you first said it, but doing a series of posts all about defaming well known artists is probably the fastest way to award your own lawsuit.
Personally I think that bad-mouthing (zing!) people like this gets old really fast, and then just becomes a little offensive.
Your avatar looks like someone who has stinky feet.
Scott Johnson – Zombie-poo breath
can someone please let me know when DivinoAG grows a penis? thanks.
Why, I didn’t know men weren’t allowed to have proper manners or common sense. Thanks Shawn for the heads-up and classy contribution.
I highly doubt that you could be sued for saying someone likely has bad breath, especially doing so with the qualifier that you are likely wrong. So, while I give you a +cool for good manners, but I am not so sure about your common sense.
It’s hard to say that the qualifier is there when one says “I might be wrong, but I believe you are the most horrible and disgusting person on earth, e people should avoid looking at your direction.” The sentence kinda contradicts itself. For the sake of argument, check the whole Glenn Beck’s “I’m not saying Obama doesn’t like white people, but I think he’s a racist” ordeal.
I’m no lawyer so I won’t go as far to say that this surely gives ground for a lawsuit, but I do think that avoid offending people is always good common sense. The saying “it’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt” comes to mind.
I don’t know if you have kids, but I don’t imagine Scott would tell his kids that it’s ok to imply that, even if they are not completely sure of it, they do believe that some other kid has a really bad breath. I sure won’t tell mine that, when time comes.
“A few episodes back on ELR, I mentioned a few prominent actors that I’m pretty sure have really bad breath.”
Here, Scott clearly says that he thinks these people have bad breath.
“I know this is just an assumption I’m making and I could be dead wrong”
Here he states, as a qualifier, that he has no real reason to believe so.
Alright, now my point. I am not saying that it is nice to defame people for no reason. In fact, I side with you in that it is not nice (this does not mean I oppose it in the context of a comedic blog that no one in there right mind takes seriously anyway.)
However, in the context of this argument, as you can see from my previous post, I am not concerned with the morality of the practice. I only state that you, and pay attention to this next word, probably can’t sue someone because they said you have bad breath, especially with the qualifier Scott gives that he might be wrong. A lawyer wouldn’t have a leg to stand on, or Saturday Night Live would have been sued out of existence long ago for similar offenses.
Sure, I agree, is very possible that a lawsuit would not have much effect. That comment was meant as an example of one of the possible outcomes (which even if I wouldn’t try to quantify as a probability, it is a possibility).
The spirit of my comment is, even if you can [say that without being sued], that doesn’t mean you should.
I did find it funny when it was first said, because it was made in the spur of the moment, and there was a context that made it funny. Now to plan and introduce a new series of features on the site doing the same is a different thing.
I just don’t think being offensive is funny, and this particular feature, in my opinion, is the kind of comment that crosses the line between being sarcastic and being a jerk.
Now, I’m not saying Scott or anybody else here ARE jerks, but these jokes makes them sound like jerks (see what I did there?).
It’s attitudes like this that me sick. Look up the words satire, parody, spoof. I would also suggest for you to get your own web comic and worry about what you say, and not anyone else’s.
As for you ever having kids-I certainly hope that never happens. You have that over protective, let’s keep everything safe mentality that crushes imagination.
Satire: trenchant wit, irony, or sarcasm used to expose and discredit vice or folly
Parody: a literary or musical work in which the style of an author or work is closely imitated for comic effect or in ridicule
Spoof: to make good-natured fun of
Strange, none of those seem to really fit what was proposed here. All of them assume you distort some reality until it can be used for fun. But none of them really fits creating a definition out of nowhere that makes another person who you don’t know anything about look bad. Oh, I got another one:
Prejudice: an adverse opinion or leaning formed without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge
Source for all: Merrian-Webster’s Online Dictionary
If that is being over protective, I’m fine with it.
I hope Scott Johnson (to be clear) doesn’t think I’m trying to troll your blog. I have great respect of your work, and I read your comic and listen to your podcast for so many years now I cannot even recall (I know I started reading before you had the podcast). I just don’t want to lose that respect over something so silly.
Scott, you are most certainly an obsessive compulsive personality.
I really liked that podcast, and I like the idea of naming famous people who have bad breath. looking forward to the next one.
Although I feel this sort of bad mouthing celebrities should be reserved for Perez Hilton and not necessarily for your site, I would have to say any and all old actors have the worst stinky mouths. Have you ever tried to talk to your own grandfather from closer than 3 feet away? If you haven’t, you should spend more time with your family.
“Actors” is the plural. You appear to be suffering from “Greengrocer’s Apostrophe.” But at least it doesn’t cause a cough.
This is great. We need to know these things. Even if we make them up. Tom Cruise has peanut butter breath.
That’s right, Scott. You can’t have someone mad at you over the INTERNET!
Back down to thread comments like the rogue cartoonist you are!
But I liked this idea! oh well.
I would do a list and submit it to Cracked if your audience here seems bothered by it. Sure, it’d belong to them at that point. But hey, you did it and it’s out there.
I thought it was funny, and there’s no reason that you should stop just cuz some guy doesn’t think its proper. I say keep going
I thought it was a funny idea, but I’d be lying if I wasn’t just a little tiny bit surprised by the initial post.
Not that there’s anything wrong with mean humor, I just found it a bit out of character for you, Scott.
@Shawn; I think Scott is the one that needs to grow a pair. He backs down way too easily when he gets even the slightest bit of criticism; even when he’s done nothing wrong.
@Ransom and @electricfuture -what you said
Thanks for the comments about my balls, but I don’t need the additional headaches. You might, but I don’t.
DivinioAG thank you for voicing your opinion. Even though it is an opinion that I don’t share. Scott strikes me as a rather playful person… he is just having a bit of fun. The difference here is that he isn’t saying Ms Anniston HAS bad breath he is saying (if you read between the lines) wouldn’t it be funny if she had bad breath. She is stunningly pretty and she has bad breath, that would be rather silly!
I say to a few others, there is no need to be nasty to DivinioAG as he is simply presenting a different opinion one that can be reasoned and argued against but not by insults.
Scott, on behalf of all readers of your comic that have common sense and understand what parody is, please, don’t cancel this series. I was really looking forward to it, and you shouldn’t let “some” peoples views stop you.
In other words, ignore whathisface and get on to part 2!
Please keep doing these, I think there great!
Don’t listen to internet dorks Scott!… …oh wait.
I don’t get what’s supose to be funny about it in the first place.
But i guess i never was a bully, so maybe i just don’t got the right mindset :p
Two jerks ruined all the fun. Yes. You are the jerks here. Everybody else has a sense of humor. And I hiss in your general direction.
To0 childish and “gossip” alike. Let’s get some more cartoons and podcasts and stay above this level.
I think it’s very obvious from the ridiculously misplaced offence by proxy which contirbutor here actually has the stinky breath!! I suggest Polos (I think you guys call them Life Savers)!
What happened to a sense of humour?
Whoa whoa whoa, I for one am clearly disappointed that this would even be considered as humor. As a proud member of UHM (Unimaginative and Humorless Machines) I for one can not and will not stand for such blatant ignorance against the peaceful community of our celebrity nationalists. These people are icons of everything that we stand for and to deface them is not only a crime against them but all your fellow citizens. We must continuously flood them with our expressions of never-ending adoration. Never mind the outright defoulment of any single persons civil rights to never be joked about or made a fool of. Especially with the idea of fish baited breath! I swear if I see one more cartoonist use their position of creative expression to make a statement however trivial, sincere or hilarious I will scream! Why can’t we just go back to Family Circus and follow a dotted line across a single panel to find that ever mischevious billy jumping on the couch? No one was offended. No one made a statement. No one crossed the magical line and dared people to look within to laugh at themselves. I mean especially poor dear old Jennifer Anniston, I mean just the other day as I was buying my monthly supply of sugar-free whole-gran cerial with skim milk I saw out of the corner of my eye how she just got dumped by Bat Boy at the altar while aboard the SS Enterprise being wed by none other than Elvis Presly himself. The poor woman has dealt with enough without you (Scott Johnson) coming in and making fun of her with your lies and deceit. Perhaps you should pick up a copy of MAD Magazine and learn a thing or two about real humor before you continue with this nonsence!
(FYI That was satire…in case we’re not sure of the difference yet)
Of course, since it seems so hard to try to answer the arguments I used, it is a lot easier to just say that I or others who disagreed with the original post (there were a few, had you noticed) don’t have a sense of humor, or that I care about someone’s celebrity status (I don’t).
I just wonder if any of you who thought this was a good idea would go to a person you never talked to and tell them “You know, you just strike me as someone who has a terrible breath. I saw you kissing someone else and got disgusted. I might be wrong of course.” It is a lot easier to offend people on the Internet, but I prefer to treat people online the same way I would in person. Is this a particular feature of “unimaginative machines” or “jerks” or “dorks”?
Well to be completely honest I was mocking the entire situation because I am more entertained by this moral debate than the original post. However in amusement of your point I don’t think Scott was proposing we gather with signs and banners to wave in individual’s faces accusing them of having vile breath. More-so I tried to imply the subtle point that there is so much nonsensical banter about her personal life and affairs I hardly doubt her (or any other million dollar worth individual) concern themselves with the opinions of a web-comic artist who regularly mocks the circumstances of all aspects of life. To truly stand by your point would honestly remove all flavor from humor as a whole, especially from the aspect of cartoon artists. If not the weekly newspapers check the vast majority of famed comics and they have all gotten their place by regularly pointing out some extreme and exaggerated opinion. I don’t deny the base moral point (regardless of how my opinion of it differs) that “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all” but I don’t think Scott is pursuing a career as a serious tabloid journalist here in attempts to rally a witch hunt for foul smelling famous people. I for one however believe wholeheartedly that Bill Gates breath smells like old Korn-Flakes and I don’t care what anyone thinks about it.
I don’t really agree that this would mean the end of humor at all. You just need to take this webcomic as an example. How many comics were there on this website that were just flat-out fabrications about someone real, famous or not, that would surely offend them should they ever come to read them? Eight years worth of strips and refraining from this type of humor didn’t stop this comic from being funny, why should that stop now?
Sure, I understand the concepts of satire and parody (as posted by another commenter), but to make this kind of humor you take something that is a fact, and find a slightly different way to express it so it sounds ridicule. Even on other, more “edgy” comics like Penny Arcade when they go that far they are distorting something real for a reason.
This is NOT what was done here, this was more on the league of Perez Hilton or other celebrity bloggers making crap up just to get some hits (in more than one way sometimes). It doesn’t matter if they read it or not, it doesn’t even matter if you might be right about it, it’s just plain rude and uncalled for. You might be fine with it when it’s not about you, but I doubt anyone here would like to hear someone they never heard of saying that about themselves.
Are these people known to have bad breath or just venting against famous people? Either way, I would have been good, but it would be funny if they actually had it… I think Joey ran into that once… and spitting with Gary Oldman… that makes your first (and only) choice even funnier (to me).
Oh my God.
Scott: Hey everyone, let’s have a little bit of harmless fun talking about what candy we hate most.
KillJoy1: I don’t know Scott. If you defame a candy the makers of the candy might bring a law suit against you, and you wouldn’t want to teach your kids it was ok to hate (even if it is only candy).
Scott: Oh never mind.
Ok I suppose the whole thing is a wash and can be refuted anyway because as officially reported Jennifer Aniston actually has coffee breath. Furthermore she has reportedly had kissing scenes cut short on her by Jason Bateman due to his inability to continue kissing her without her first consuming a mint. This is no longer funny and I now send Jennifer my sincere condolences.
Source: http://article.wn.com/view/2009/05/02/Jennifer_Aniston_has_bad_breath/
HILARIOUS! Keep these coming. I think Joaquin Phoenix and Cheri Oteri have horrible breath.
Drawn into the comments because of scotts mention of people getting uptight about it, I might as well voice my opinion as well: I don’t care about celebrities etc, and I completely don’t see how this is supposed to be funny at all.
But then again, the comics stopped being funny a long time ago and I only visit here for the interesting links, but even those are getting rarer and rarer.
I’m breaking up with you, Scott. It’s not you, it’s me.
Ok, well buh-bye, don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.
Finally, I thought he’d never leave, we’ve been trying to drive this guy away for months.
and the commenters save the day once again..
“Dude, you should shut down your comments on your blog.” – Scott Kurtz
“But they’re not all dicks!” – Scott Johnson
Haha! I love that the first one on your list ACTUAL HAS BAD BREATH! I don’t care if its hurtful to her, that is hilarious. Serves her right for having coffee break. BLLLEEEEGGGHH!
I see it as lighthearted fun. Breath never killed anyone… so far as we know.
Lighten up. Why so serious? It’s like we’ll be looking at some kinda breath amendment to the constitution soon or something the way some have their undies in a huge clump.
The thing that makes me sad is that Scott started to write something instead of just posting news, I was really looking forward to read more about Scott’s thoughs and more funny stuff. It’s a shame that a whole debate started with it. Come on Scott you can write in YOUR blog about anything you like and I think that most of your community will like it.
I didn’t even read half the comments to know that some of the visitors need to lighten up. It’s something that you just tend to think of when watching someone on TV. It might not be about bad breath and maybe about something like passing gas. I don’t believe it was at all offensive and if one of the celebrities mentioned wants to prove Scott wrong they can always come to his house and breath on him. I’m sure he would welcome it
Wow, I had no idea bad breath jokes were such a touchy, off-limits, controversial topic to some people!
Wow, people will overreact to anything these days. It would be like two guys watching a girl do something odd…
“Man, that girl seems a little crazy..”
“YOU DON’T KNOW HER! SHE MAY HAVE BEEN ATTACKED AS A CHILD. I WILL NOT STAND BY AND LET THIS COMMENT RUIN THE WORLD BALSHBDLD:LSADKJSDLJSDK!”
“Dude…. Chill…
“About defaming well known artists is probably the fastest way to award your own lawsuit. ”
Ah… America.
“brother to brother, yours to life, and death.”
Scott I wish you would start offending people on the show again
It’s been weeks
Political correctness and moral high ground has become a set of paisley jackboots in the US. Please… If you think this is offensive, you should be a grown up and stop reading. If you think someone should be sued, you should study law. Do I think it’ll be funny? Not really, but being a citizen of the US, I believe people have the freedom to say what they want – EVEN if it’s offensive.
You know, the problem isn’t whether there is humor in this post – there is humor there. The problem is that not every bit of humor is for every person. And that is what’s great about the internet. It’s HUGE… so head on out into it, and find the humor that suits you. The reason why there are so many supporters on the attack in here is because certain people feel the need to step into a post like this (that doesn’t agree with their sense of humor), and proceed to wag their finger and give us the Mom lecture. This automatically makes you a target – and you knew it would. That’s why you did it… for attention, to fill your time up by making sure everyone knows that you know the most about everything. The best way to deal with people like this is just to ignore them for the rest of the thread, and continue to enjoy yourselves. Abandonment is the worst sort of punishment for attention-cravers.
And with that, I submit to you… Harry Connick Jr. For some reason I think he might belong on this list.
I’m pretty sure that G.Clooney has some bad breath, otherwise that would hinder the universal balance of awesomeness.
Wow…. way to take away some harmless fun.
Do what you do best Scott and don’t fall due to the words of someone with a 10ft. pole up their ass.
Look at me, I don’t laugh at fart jokes because I’m sooooooo mature.
Scott! Do your thing! Don’t let anyone stop you.
At my current job, which I am leaving soon, there is this girl that complained about my jokes and sense of humor. Fine, no biggie, I just stopped making jokes around her. Now, when she walks by, we all stop talking and just wait until she is out of ear range, then we continue. She is totally missing out on some good fun because she had to be so easily offended.
Same thing here: if people are getting offended, fine, they don’t have to listen to the joke!